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Sunday, September 15, 2013

BAD BOUNDARIES

One of my biggest difficulties in life has been protecting myself from abuse by others.
I understand this is caused by me not having a strong sense of self, and therefore having weak boundaries.
Others sense this and punch right through.
A classic example happened last week.
I was at a function where I didn't know anybody and a man a bit older than me started talking to me.
Or rather, asking me questions.
Interrogating me.
He wanted to know why I wasn't married. Why I had never been married.
Was it because I was a Catholic and had less choice?
Was it because I was too choosy? Oh, yeah, that was it, he was sure.
And what did I do in response to this verbal assault on my person?
I tried to defend myself!
Instead of telling him to go away, that my personal life was none of his business, I kept coming up with excuses to justify myself.
That night when I got home I felt like I'd been raped.
I will try to do better in the future if such a situation arises again, but chances are I will act the same because of my poor sense of self and resulting bad boundaries.

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